secret buttholes teaser
secret buttholes teaser

‘Secret Buttholes’ Is the Latest Eye-Opening Insta Account You Should Be Following

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When you see a batch of donuts fresh out of the fryer, do you ever also see something a bit more … anatomical? What about a crater on the surface of Mars? An erupting volcano? If your answer is a steadfast “no,” or if you think I sound completely crazy right now, maybe the Instagram account Secret Buttholes can awaken you to a whole new world.

For six years, Secret Buttholes has been posting pictures of all sorts — food, underwater sea life, seemingly sterile around-the-house snapshots — each having one thing in common: they all kinda look like buttholes.

Maybe that sounds a little childish to you. Hey, maybe it is. But you’re still likely to be in awe of just how many “secret buttholes” can be found in everyday life if you just open your eyes.

“I started the account during a long vacation to Europe in 2013,” says Tim, who founded and maintains @secret_buttholes. “It was a crazy trip. I met my friend Kevin who lives in Berlin, and then we flew out to Barcelona to skate the city. I just remember seeing them everywhere we went. It was like ‘Tour de Butthole’ pretty much.”

We had to ask what inspired Tim to create the Secret Buttholes Insta page: “I think I started it because I had just gotten an iPhone around that time,” he tells Hornet. “I’d been seeing secret buttholes for awhile — since I was a kid, really — but now I had this camera in my pocket I could shoot them with. Everyone goes to Europe and takes photos of the Notre Dame. I’m over there snapping pics of buttholes. I got back and my mom was like, ‘Did you take any good photographs?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, you want to see?'”

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rorschach butthole

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The Secret Buttholes page, which both posts images that Tim has snapped himself and also solicits submissions from its fans, currently has more than 38,000 followers. We asked Tim why he thinks so many people have taken a liking to the Insta account.

“I mean who doesn’t love a good secret butthole?” he says. “For real, though, I think ‘butthole’ just as a concept is in the zeitgeist in a way that it hasn’t been before. Look at Gwyneth Paltrow’s website. It’s almost woke to be into ass play now. People are way more open about that type of thing than they were not that long ago.”

Asked if he’s learned anything about humanity since creating the Secret Buttholes account, Tim tells us he’s learned that he’s not alone in having an eye for scouting out these natural occurrences. “I always thought I was the only one who saw them, but that’s definitely not the case,” he says. “People DM me secret buttholes all day from all over the world, and everyone has their own unique eye for them. Some people see the same ones, too. There’s this one in a window curtain off of a random street in Philadelphia that four or five different people have sent in. I’m not even from Philly. It’s unreal.”

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mount st. butthole 🔭 @iss

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Today, Secret Buttholes may be little more than an Instagram account (and a way of life, for those who follow and contribute to the page), but Tim says he has some exciting plans for the brand.

“Yeah, not to give myself a ‘plug’ or anything (lol), but I’m designing some fun products to go along with the brand,” he says. “It’s just well-designed, high-quality stuff that I think people will really like. I do research and engineering full-time at MIT Media Lab, and it’s fun to bring that art and technology skillset to a new space. I should have a few things to share around the new year.”

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take shelter they’re coming 🔭 @ezee1234

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Maybe a Secret Buttholes coffee mug to accompany that fresh-from-the-fryer donut? We can’t wait.

Head here to follow Secret Buttholes on Instagram.

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